Still a Fat Bastard

Obviously – as this is a common occurrence in the automotive news – pictures of the new Range Rover had already leaked, but yesterday Land Rover officially presented the RR’s new model. Automotive press are particularly amazed by the low-fat, low-carbs diet it has followed.

But that’s not all, because the new Range Rover benefits from a load of improvements and new technologies. The suspension system for all four wheels was completely redesigned, according to Land Rover, now offering the same level of comfort but more dynamic handling characteristics. At the same time they’ve fitted the latest build of the company’s Terrain Response System, that actively scans the road – or dirt, grass, mud, gravel or whatever else you choose to drive across – ahead for potholes and bumps and adjusts the suspension level for what’s to come. Ergo, it will do great off-road!

Moreover, the new model features improved insulation – so a quieter interior – and more space for those sitting in the back seat. Unfortunately little changes under the bonnet, because the Range Rover will be delivered with the same TDV6 and TDV8 diesel and 5 litre V8 petrol engines as the current one. At best they’ll have done some tweaks here and there to make it stronger and/or more efficient. Not that the current generation is lacking power – it outputs just over 500 horses – but it isn’t particularly fuel efficient (only 18.7 miles per imperial gallon) combined.

And that brings us back to the car’s weight loss, because a lower mass usually brings with it a less thirsty nature. Land Rover has shaved off about 925 pounds, which is really unheard of. The question is, is this new one just really light or was the old one just an incredibly fat bastard? Well, the old Range Rover fitted with a 5 litre V8 petrol weighs almost 5,800 pounds. That’s getting close to a battle tank.

Call me cynical, but I just think the new Range Rover’s weight loss is about as much a result as changing to lean bacon for breakfast every day. It may be less bad than normal bacon, but you’re still going to die of a heart disease. It’s still delicious though!

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